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| 08:55am 02/09/2005 |
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mood:  tired music: finch-letters to you
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today marks a week since ive been here at school. its weird to think of it that way but now that i look back on the week it went by pretty quickly. it isnt so bad up here...i mean its totally different from home but thats not necessarily bad. i have to find more to do though and i have to go out more. what i need to do is make more friends. ive been talking to some people but its hard because i dont talk to many people in my hall because most of them are upperclassmen. in my direct hall there are 4 rooms including ours and i only know the guys that are right across from us.there was this one CRAZY guy in there room...i felt so bad for all the other guys. especially his poor roommate and his fridge hahahhaa. but they luckily got him switched out into another room. i feel bad for whoever gets stuck with him. ive never even seen the other people in the other rooms go out yet. oh well...ive made some friends in classes and shit. my roommates turned out to be really nice. its weird because the 3 of them are all close friends and they are all sophmores but at least they are friendly. they go out a lot and hopefully next week ill go out with them some night. they are never hom though and at night its like having the suite to myself. my classes really arent too bad so far. with the exception of economics..its so hard and everything is done online and its a pain in the ass. i have an english speaking math teacher now who hopefully wont assign homework from pages R-g when she really meant to make a 9. lol jen. i hang out with kasie a lot in her cool honors hall with the awesome bathroom. all the kids are so nice on her floor and they all keep there doors open and just meet one another. its cool. sometimes i wish i didnt switch out of indian because i know i would have met a lot more people because it was all freshman trying to make new friends but im not complaining. my room is a really good size, much bigger then i expected and our common room area will be really cool once we buy shit for it. i have so much work to do but i havent been putting it off which is very un-mandy like. hopefully i will stay that way. i have so much stuff to bring back here when i come back up on wednesday. number 1 priority is bathroom shit...we need a rug for when you get out of the bathroom. and a broom. our suite has not been the cleanest(but suprisingly all of my stuff is pretty well organized)im leaving today at 1:30 with kasie and i will be back up here monday.i tihnk if i go home this weekend it will get it out of my system for at least another few weeks. i really want to stay up here on the weekeneds and go out with everybody else. i need alcohol. thats my number 2 thing to get this weekend. the number 3 thing to get while im home and almost the most important is FOOD. i swear to god the food up here is so gross and if i ever see another "portabello burger" again i will throw up. i live off grilled cheese and salad during the day and some weird chicken sub at night. lol i need grandmas lasagna. at least because the food is so gross ive been eating a very considerable amount less...so maybe its good.
see you soon dutchess county...6 hours woooo! |
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| 03:57pm 16/11/2004 |
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this is SO worthy of a journal entry..this weird guy from Texas ims me today and is all like i know i saw you somewhere and i got your screenname somewhere and supposedly this is where....
Bud24L [3:55 PM]: i promise i saw u in american singles or in fitness singles or something like that
X maNdy 11 [3:55 PM]: HAHAH
Bud24L [3:56 PM]: and liked how u were and thought we would be cool to talk
Bud24L [3:56 PM]: why do u laugh
Bud24L [3:56 PM]: does anything ring a bell
X maNdy 11 [3:56 PM]: yeah. ya got me. i was in fitness singles
hahahahhahah. fucking texas weirdo |
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| 02:36pm 08/11/2004 |
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approxmaitely 8 hours till jen gets home :-D i missed youuuuuuu!
today sucked. enough said. |
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| 08:51am 30/10/2004 |
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mood:  crushed
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yesterday was fun i guess. school was okay...i was really talkative seventh period and everyone was like amazed becuase i usually dont say anything. nobody had that great of a costume on yesterday but some were cool. afterschool i went to my aunts to babysit and i was there until 5:30. hersheys called me 3 times in that time period but after listening to the messages i didnt want to call them back. i need to do that today. ugh stupid tina. i finally did call the store after i knew tina had left and talked to rachel for about an hour. haha she is funny. i realized how muhc i REALLY dont like it there and how i have no intentions of ever going back. i think thats a big hint to put in my 2 week notice like today so i dont have to deal with tina bullshit.. lol.
after my aunts i picked up jen and we headed up to the mall to hang out with ashley. then we started our search (for them) slutty skirts for halloween. ashley found a cool one and a cool hat. the mall was the same as usual i guess, idk i kinda was out of it and didnt want to be there. i just wanted to be home in my bed so thats what i did as soon as i got home pretty much and i was asleep by like 9:45 which is earlier then ive ever gone to sleep on a weekday. im such a fucking loser.ah well, sleep is good. it prevents me from thinking of how much i miss him and want him back. :-(
halloween better be fun. i hope it will be but idk. |
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| 09:57pm 18/10/2004 |
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mood: disappointed
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hi
err...this sucks so much. its not getting any easier and i dont think it will.
to you: i feel like we havent been together since September 30. we may not of "officially" been done then but in my heart, thats from when it feels like. After that date i think i have cried myself to sleep every single night without any exceptions. i miss you, i really do. i miss you holding me hugging me and caring about me. but i dont know if i can belive it ever meant as much to you as it always did to me. not being able to bring mself to see or talk to you is not easy or what i want by any means but i breakdown everytime i hear you or see you.
and to you: i miss you too. whether you believe that or not. i really do miss being able to talk to you and i miss hanging out and evrything.i just miss being friends with you. but again, doing that just hurts more then it helps me right now and i cant deal withit. from either of you.
it may seem like i dont give a fuck about you guys and most of the time thats how i want to feel. but its not how i actually feel. i love both of you but i cant forget what i found out, or forgive either one of you, i cant even get past the idea of it and that doesnt seem to be fading away anytime soon.
This is not the way i would ever, in a million years, envision my senior year of high school being like this. where are the good times with my friends and all the fun? it seems to be all just passing right by. |
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| 11:12pm 21/09/2004 |
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mood:  nauseated
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today wasnt too bad. env science was gay. just finishing up some bat lab. then the two study halls after that sucked. dave and tom were in my first study hall but dave isnt fun anymore. and the next period it was me dennis and dave and dennnis showed me gross "shiteaters.com" and i wanted to throw up. and there are rules to getting the shotgun seat in a car lol. uhh english. ugh...people already have college essays yet i still have no idea what to write about. i need a second personality that is interesting and has had life changing things happen. lunch was fun i think. i really cant remmeber. the rest of the day just sucked. but afterschool i stayed after for media arts club. i have to stick with this because i have no clubs to say ive been in. it seems fun though and natalie is in it with me. im going to campaign to be the treasurer and natalie is going to help me and im gonna help her become co-treasurer. ha...im not gonna let myself drop out of it. uhh what else...i went to see harry potter tonight with josh. he loves harry potter even though he wont admit it to anyone else. things are better now. well awkward and going to be diffrent...but most definetely better.<3. i dont know what else..tomorrow i have to work and thursday is cvs training. i still have to call suzan to quit hersheys. im sure that will be fun. dan tried quitting a few days ago and she somehow persuaded him to stay. ew im dirty im going to shower. i dont want to go to school tomorrow. gay.... |
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| 09:12pm 20/09/2004 |
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i just saved my cat from the tree. ha shes so stupid she climbs up and gets stuck and then starts like crying. i had to climb a ladder on my pool deck just to be able to reach her. then she clawed my neck cuz she got scared. that is true love right there. do something nice and get clawed in the end.
im writing a lot. ha 3 enentries in 2 days. oh well this wont last. i never stick with writing in livejournal too long. |
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| 04:45pm 20/09/2004 |
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mood:  full
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ah mondays..i forgot how much they suck.getting upp, getting through the day everything. i dont know. i mean i dont even mind school so much this year. i know people in all my classes but still...i just wish i could choose when i wanted to go. lunch is the best this year. there is always people and its always loud and fun. afterschool me and jen went to subway today. yum. but tommy was therre and he started acting like an asshole. and brian mangeri works ther! wow it was weird to see him again. he got soooo skinny. oh and i got a job at the cvs pharmacy. im excited. it seems like fun. i got to go to training on thursday but it seems cool. i dont know what to write. jenny and bushey and josh just left here. i feel weird. i want to go to sleep. i need somebody to buy me a tamagotchi battery. ill take good care of it this time lol and wont let it die. ah my days suck.
i want livejournal friends. |
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| 01:14am 19/09/2004 |
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mood: crushed
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-the notebook was a really good and sad movie. definetely one that can be seen again.
-south hills mall theaters are uncomfortable and have squeaky seats but i -guess thats what you get for 2 dollars.
-college decisions are coming up soon. i have no clue on what im doing or where im going.
-evrything is falling apart and it just keeps going downhill.
-i cant find my cat and i want her to fly now.
-i miss him SO much and its all MY FUCKING FAULT.
-i am so unbelieveably confused.
kill me right about.....
now. |
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| 10:12am 04/09/2004 |
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mood: groggy
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my schedule:
Period Class Teacher Days
1 AP Enviromental Science Cunningham 123456
2 AP Enviromental Science Cunningham 1 3 5
2 (semester 3 4) 12 GYM Carroll 2 4 6
3 (semester 1 2) Study Hall Staff 2 4 6
3 (semester 1 2) 12 GYM Wright 1 3 5
3 (semester 3 4) Study Hall staff 123456
4 AP English Yanoti 123456
5 Lunch Staff 123456
5 (semester 3 4) Microsoft Office Mylniec 123456
6 Math 4 Siko 123456
7 (semester 1 2) PIG Mcilwee 123456
7 (semester 3 4) Economics Drnek 123456
8 Euro History Roberto 123456
comment if you have anything the same. <3 |
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| 11:18pm 03/06/2004 |
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First Crush: danny smith. he lives near me and was 3 days older then me lol. but i remember liking this boy timmy who used to live near me. he wrote me a love letter and i wanted to rip it up but my dad took it and now he says he will give it to me when im 18.when he wrote me the letter i stopped liking him lol.
First Real Girlfriend/Boyfriend: REAL boyfriend=josh.
First Kiss: josh
First Job: babysitting but thats gay so...hersheys
First Screenname: i dont remember it but it had to do with backstreet boys lol
First Album/CD: will smith "getting jiggy with it"
First Piercing/Tattoo: my ears and then my eyebrow
First True Love: josh
First Enemy: idk.im ognna go with the popular answer and say dennis.
First Detention: 9th grade
First Time Dying My Hair: 8 grade. it was gross and moldy green
First Formal Dance: formal, 8th grade
First Time Breaking A Bone: 7th. i broke my finger
First Time Getting Really Sick: in 5th grade i went to the hospital becuase i couldnt breathe because i had really bad pneumonia or bronchitis.
Last Cigarette:on josh's roof with nickel dan and rah a longgg time ago. lol it took us an hour to finally jump off lol.
Last Cuss Word Uttered: idk
Last Compliment: HA. a blind man wouldnt even compliment me.
Last Girlfriend/Boyfriend: current:josh before him they dont count because nothing happened at all
Last Crush: idk..josh i guess
Last Time Driving: like an hour ago
Last Big Car Ride: last summer to toronto
Last Kiss: josh
Last Good Cry: tuesday night :-/
Last Movie Seen: mean girls
Last Beverage Drank: water
Last Food Consumed: almonds from hersheys
Last Phone Call: josh tonight
Last Thing Written: answers to regents i found online
Last Shoes Worn: sandals
Last Person That You Saw Naked Besides You: josh
Last Annoyance: my brothers
Last Song You Heard: usher-burn
Last Formal Dance: ^ 8th
Last Piercing/Tattoo: last summer..my eyebrow
Last Birthday Celebrated: 16th. 17th is soon though |
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| Entertain me and tell me "it didn't mean anything" |
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| 03:35pm 23/03/2004 |
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Wow. Yesterday was 2 years for me and Josh. 2 frickin years.Thats awesome. I never expected it too last this long but I am definetely not complaining. I love him<3<3 Yesterday was cool. Josh picked me Jen and Chrissy up before school. From there we went to Denny's in Poughkeepsie and Ludicrous was there. well..no, but he certainly looked like him. lol and then after breakfast there was no where to go because no stores are open until 10 so we went to Jen's house. Josh left to drop Chrissy off at school so me and Jen watched Maury on like..."I Cheated on you with your mom...Forgive me!?" that is a cool thing to do these days: having sex with your daughters boyfriend. lol and then we watched transexuals on jerry springer it was cool. after this me Jen and Josh went to Kohls because me and Jen needed to pick a few things up. Sales at Kohls are awesome.ummm...then we went to Josh's and i cut his hair. He looks good with short hair..i like it better then his dirty emo boy hair. I ripped out chunks of hair by accident and hurt him and we shorted out the power in Josh's gay garage by turning on some heater thing. ha, I had to use the electric razor without the guides and i was so afraid i was gonna cut him but i didnt. goooo mandy. we picked up chrissy from achool and dropped off her and jen and then we came to my house. We hung out here for a long time until he took me out to dinner at Tiramsu(however you would spell it) where i had to wait an hour for my hawaiin pizza. but it was cute and he was being all sweet and mushy(the one day a year lol) we went back to his "apartment" afterwards and i fell asleep until 9:17 and was like AH i have to get home now. so yeah and then i like passed out when i got home. sleep...mm.
today was really ugh. i dont know how i made it through the day but school really sucks lately. i cant concentrate and idk. i dont understand anything and i like count down the hours until i get to go home. chrissy drove me home today and then her and jen left to go hang out without me.fun. i have to babysit in like an hour for my cousins again. i want to move away. |
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| 07:43am 09/03/2004 |
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im so screwed. i couldnt wake up at all this morning and when i did i was dirty because i didnt shower last night and when i got out of the shower my dad was gone and i have no ride. some1 take me to school. and my mom is yelling at me because im gonna make her late and i feel so bad. errrrr.and i dont get it. i fell asleep at 7, woke up for like an hour and then fell back asleep so idk why i couldnt get up this morning but i need to get into school. i need a car. |
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| 12:48pm 13/02/2004 |
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game home early from school today. josh picked me up right before he had to go into work and junk. ew at achool, he has like a million more friends then i do. its not fair. i want friennds. now i want to go to sleep until i have to work. when i lay down in my bed though the sunlight is right in my freakin eyes. yeah, my mom called cvs or whatever and got my brothers refilled perscription for me because i :mostlikely: have bronchitis like he did last week.so my mom is just going to assume that giving me his presciption is okay.lol. as long as i wont be coughing anymore ill be happy.ahh, tomorrow is valentines day and in the morning i have to pick up jeff and jen from her house and we are going to get my phone fixed, finally. yeah im gonna go. notihng to write about. bye |
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| </3 |
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| 05:59pm 09/02/2004 |
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errrrr. i hate tow-truck-needing-people who make my boyfriend go to frickin kingston when its the day when im supposed to hang out with him because i havent seen him since like saturday and that day we didnt really hang out and we fought. :-/ i was supposed to get him an hour ago but hes not gonna be back until like 8 and now i cant be with him. grr. and i KNOW this is going to happen on valentines day and if it does im going to be really sad because i wanted to hang out with him. maybe its kind of good in a way because i am doing a lot of homework now but still. today was cool me, jen and chrissy hung out after school and we went to stop&shop because i had to go to the bank there. errr since i lost my frickin "past book" or whatever, i have to like open a new account or some bull. i really dont know. all i know is i had 4 paycheck to cash and it would of been $354 but i didnt deposit one of them i just cashed it ;-0 lol. dont tell my mom. im supposed to be saving all my money from now on to afford my car insurance and junk. what else happened? oh..we went to wendys and saw AWESOME people there right jenny and chrissy? ha. then idk..i drove chrissy and jen home and now im just waiting for josh. again...errr :-(
EDIT: i am going to break my cell phone. the speaker keeps working on and off and i cant figure it out. and the dumb idiots at intouch cant explain it to me. ::sigh:: looks like ill be heading off to oscom pretty soon... |
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| 04:40pm 06/02/2004 |
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ahh i take back my last post. well not the part about sal because he still was yelling at me and telling me i have to come in but about the part where i have to work today and he is still a dum jew. but erik called me and he said he feels really bad and everything so he was going to take over my shift. i <333 him. sal wasnt happy about this but suzanne agreed even though she gave him a hard time. he is going to call me at night so he still does a good job closing. he is my new favorite person ever. now im going to sleep so my nose will stop running. |
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| idiotic jews named SAL should die. |
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| 02:48pm 06/02/2004 |
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mood:  pissed off music: chingy "right thurr"
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oh my god, i am so pissed off its not even funny. i tried calling into work today because at 12 the roads were still really bad and i truly dont feel well. but no, at my job you arent allowed to do that. i cant call in because i cant find my own replacement. its retarded. all sal cares about is making his $2.29 because he is a jew. there are going to be no customers but that doesnt matter. whatever i hate him. i guess it doesnt matter that my mom doesnt want me to go in, even if she drives me, because while the roads are just wet now she is worried that the roads are going to freeze over later. and i guess it doesnt matter that i have used up like half a box of tissues today already and i keep coughing. no nothing matters because hersheys needs to be my LIFE. well sorry sal, but im not your sex slave tina and i dont care that much about your store. errrr. i have nothing against jews but sal is a different story. i hope he chokes on his ice cream and cookies and dies.
whatever, i think its time for a new job. i might be putting in an application at pretzel oven today and im almost positive i will get hired if i do apply. |
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| 02:57am 16/01/2004 |
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woo juat finsished my pyschology paper. i better get a kick-a** grade on that thing. oh and we better have a 2 hr delay tomorrow or else im screweddddddddddddddddddddd. |
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| 09:03pm 13/01/2004 |
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today was a really really good day. ME AND CHRISSY HAVE OUR LICENSES :-) woop. i wasnt even as nervous this time just determined because i saw chrissy drive by me when her test was over and smile so i figured she passed and i didnt want to fail so idk i just did it. but im happy. and stephanie mcnally passed her road test today too. i drove to my aunts house(where i am now) by myself tonight. it felt...wrong lol. like i was running away or soemthing. it was cool. i had to watch all my aunts kids tonight but they were really good. chrissy and josh stopped by for a minute but katie wouldnt talk to them lol. tonight i was going to drive home by myself but i dont want to risk losing my license since i cant drive after 9 so my dad is gonna come and drive me home. ahhh today was good. umm what else. idk im tired but i cant go home and sleep grrr. alright im gonna go my aunts phone is ringing. byeeeeee <3<3 |
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starlit_tears's journal